life, Soul

Stuck in writing, stuck in living

Our dining chair in the province is now old, if not older, when I fell into it.

I remember how my Mom laughed first before giving me a hand. It was such a funny situation for us, and I could still imagine myself being stuck there, not being able to help myself up. 

This was being physically stuck, but the mind and heart being stuck somewhere is a less funny story. 

I felt stuck in my writing.

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Heart, life, love, reflections, Soul, Uncategorized

Today, someone called me ugly

I was on my way home, just several meters away from the office. Compared to before, I probably looked more decent and dignified. I walk with confidence and an air of being street-smart now, because loved ones would tell me I looked easy to fool, that I was naive. True enough, I could be. I was. So good friends before told me too to be more assertive.

At a time when I have more faith in myself, and even believe in my own loveliness as I am and not with how society measures it, I guess there was a time to be tested.

With my tiny lunchbox in my hand and a red umbrella in the other, in a black cardigan given to me by my loving parents, I passed by my usual way; when I reached the area where there were big unkempt trees and a dirty gate, there was a group of male bystanders (erm, bysitters (?) because they were sitting on the sidewalk) in front of a small barbecue spot. You know how you put a simple grill at the sidewalk – that kind of barbecue spot.

Because I felt that something rude might happen, given our culture today of how people view women, I continued to stride on and rub my nose, as if I was nursing a cold. So that I would look discreet. So I would be unnoticed.

But I heard it.

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life, Soul, travel

You leave, so you can return; you say goodbye, so you can say hello

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” – Terry Pratchett

June 28 of last year, my Mom dropped me off at the airport for what was supposed to be just a three-week vacation. In the plane, I sat next to a young woman my age who worked in the East Coast. She asked me why I was taking the trip. I said I was just going for a vacation to spend time with my Aunts, Uncles, and cousins.

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Mind, movies

They wrote their sonnet well

[This post contains spoilers. And some illustrations I did after feeling inspired and renewed from A Wrinkle in Time!]

“Life, with its rules, its obligations, and its freedoms, is like a sonnet: You’re given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself,” thus said Mrs. Whatsit.

I think it may be the best quote that could describe how I see Director Ava DuVernay’s Disney’s movie adaptation (and adaptations in general) of Madeleine L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time, first published in 1962. But before I delve more into what I think about the film, I just want to share how I first knew about the beloved author.

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reflections, Soul

Related, connected, loved

While reading a certain article on Brain Pickings the other night, I was inspired to write the following about interconnectedness:

Everything and everyone is connected…

The universe is in relationship to a human being as a cell to a system. One atom of a young woman reading the news this morning in a cafe somewhere across the Pacific is in relationship with a galaxy outside of ours. The stars in the heavens may as well be like the neurons in our brains; one thought can negatively or positively send some kind of energy towards somewhere, so one must be careful with her thoughts. One small or big thing has an effect on something else.

What we do can affect our world, our solar system, our galaxy, our tissues, our bodies, our relationship with others. I think about it right now: had Madeleine L’Engle, one of the writers who showed me the way to be brave about merging science and faith and putting spiritual themes in her books, given up on writing more when A Wrinkle in Time was rejected not less than 10 times, I probably would not be lying on my back right now reading more about writing and her interviews in some websites.

By the character, persona, genius, perseverance of someone else, I was moved. Like in writing, we connect events and people for the whole story to make sense.

Connections, relationships, friendship, love… the universe makes sense because of relationships.

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Soul, travel

A walk in a garden, a journey in the soul

My Mom has a green thumb. She has her own magic of making sure that the ground is fertile and healthy, helping plants grow to bear fruit and flowers. Although I do not have a thumb as magical as hers, I do share her love for nature and gardens. I thought of her when my Dad, our relatives, and I went to Hakone Gardens in Saratoga Hills in California last July 4, 2017.

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family, Heart, life, love, reflections, Soul

Thank You for 2017: A Yearly Examen

Saint Ignatius of Loyola taught me to be in awe of the best things like stars in the heavens. For this year, I will continue doing the Examen – another thing he left for us – only in the yearly perspective. I learned of doing a Yearly Examen through an article published in Aleteia last year, and I plan to do it again this year.

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reflections, Soul

Sitting by the manger

“Behold this wonder: a living, moving, startling likeness of who we are, who God is; what God awakens, when God sleeps on the crossing wood of our manger. We have lost the wonder of it all, lost the gratitude, lost the likeness of who we are, who we are meant to love, how life again could matter. No wonder, God came to us as a child in a manger.”Startle, Fr. Jett Villarin, SJ

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art, Hands, reflections, Soul

The first time I wasn’t happy with drawing

On January 2017, I decided to become a freelance artist; I was able to work with good clients during the first quarter of the year.

By the half of the year, I decided to start writing a book I’ve planned in my head.

In September 2017, I published my first ever e-book called Seedlings: A Short Story Collection. I am thankful to those who bought and said good things about it.

Being consistent in posting drawings and stories in Instagram too helped me in practicing my skill and getting my work out there.

Earlier this week, a kind and talented person I met over at Instagram and Arriane Serafico’s #daretoshareIGChallenge, Ms. Cindy Wong Dela Cruz of Filipino book curator 8letters, offered to publish and distribute Seedlings as hard copies! What a dream!

I am very thankful for all of these blessings and opportunities.

But last night, I felt anxious. I felt scared. I felt sad.

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